I have always expressed myself through the curation of songs. From when I got my first MP3 players (shout-out to my Zune, which I will stan until our earth crumbles around us), to the v important selection of Myspace/Xanga profile songs, to Grooveshark playlists (anyone else remember that blast from the past?), to Spotify, where I currently have 50+ playlists, many created for specific trips, friends, or mood moments. Currently, I’m navigating the world of unemployment, so what better way to keep my writing skills sharp and share my love for music than by strong-arming you all into subscribing to my monthly newsletter? (Thanks, by the way!)
Every month, I’ll be sharing a Spotify playlist filled with my top songs of the month, diving deep into why each song made the cut, and giving you a little peek into the quirky workings of my mind. Plus, you'll get a healthy dose of my patented sass.
So grab your headphones/speaker/audio object of choice, and let’s dive into what I looped on repeat for the month of October.
Content Warning - A heads up, some of these songs do have NSFW language, so maybe pop in those AirPods if you’re sneaking a listen at work.
Additionally - it is so nerve-wracking to share personal pieces, so I thank you, first subscribers! And to the interviewers who subscribed - I appreciate your interest and remind you again that I did warn you this is a really fast dive into my personality. Please check my portfolio for an assortment of pieces that show I can write in a brand voice.
Prada - casso, RAYE, D-Block Europe
I’ll admit, for someone who specializes in social media, I do not have a personal TikTok account. However, #tubegirl? There is something about this I just absolutely adore. Maybe it’s the “I-Dont-Give-A-Damn” vibe, maybe it’s my deep-seated desire to be back on the London Tube, but I’m into it. This TikTok-er was incredibly smart not to tie her content to one specific song, but this one has been living rent-free in my head. It’s giving me major “hostel pregame in Europe” vibes, and I’m here for it.
Ick - Lay Bankz
Lay Bankz is just 19, and already feeling the struggle of “The Ick.” For those not in the know - as defined by Urban Dictionary, “The Ick” is “A feeling you get when you’re dating/hooking up with someone and you realize how cringey they actually are.”
And trust me, it’s a real thing. As someone semi-recently single for the first time in nearly two years, there seems to be a phenomenon where all of a sudden, every random person you’ve ever met decides to hit you up. After a particularly annoying afternoon of cringey texts, I found this song, and it just spoke to me. Remember y’all: “There ain't no comin' back when you get it.”
Fuck This Shit I’m Gonna Be a Princess - Ravi Kuma
A Danish friend introduced me to this banger from this Danish electronic rap act back in 2018 when it dropped, and it’s been going hard ever since. It’s the perfect hype-up song when applying to job #3048, and always reminds me of when I originally listened to it on loop, during the summer of 2018 - introduced to it in Palm Springs, it stayed on my soundtrack through Vegas, Austin, Ireland, Denmark, and London.
Molly - Lil Dicky, Brendon Urie
If you’ve never listened to Lil Dicky before, he’s a rapper/comedian whose work is on the comedic side, but just so intelligently written. (If you have 10 min to spare, I recommend listening to “Pillow Talk,” which I still quote too frequently.)
I’ve been binging a looooot of streaming content during this unemployment, which included catching up on Lil Dicky’s semi-autobiographical show, “Dave.” Molly is a softer intro to his work, and with Brendon Urie of Panic! At The Disco on the track, no rap chorus should go so hard.
Signs - Bloc Party
An oldie but a goodie. With a glockenspiel and Mbira shimmering at the start of the track, this always immediately catapults me into a very particular mindset - strolling a city street alone in the night, generally heading out or home from something, feeling very much like I am the main character.
Only If You Run - Julian Plenti
Julian Plenti, AKA Paul Banks, lead singer of Interpol. Interpol is heavily associated with the NYC indie music scene, and those influences come through here, a song which to me, resonates heavily with the city. It’s got a very enigmatic, sombre aura, and I’ve found the lyrics very fitting this past month.
I've had my frustrations about the pains of daily life
I've tasted degradation and found the lace and candlelight
But we have the weights, we have the measures of our days and nights
I've had my frustrations, but now, I've found my place
And you will make it
But only if you run
Dice - Finley Quaye, William Orbit
Back to “I am watching too much TV”…I found out my roommate has never watched The O.C, and thrust this cultural masterpiece of the early 2000’s on her. While the show has so many gems - Peter Gallagher’s eyebrows, the invention of Chrismukkah, the iconic quotes, “Welcome to the O.C, bitch.” - the indie soundtrack catapulted this genre of music into the mainstream and changed TV soundtracks forever. Check out one of the many think pieces on the topic if you think I’m being superfluous.
There’s something about this particular tune from Season 1 I love, and the scene its from (Ryan slow-mo running to Marissa on NYE) is just perfection. Maybe not perfection but…you know what I mean.
Fuck Was I - Jenny Owen Youngs
We love a string accompaniment, and we love an anthem for the regretful. This has been the perfect mournful piece for all the mistakes and missteps I feel I’ve made over the past few weeks.
And there's always a big mess left over
With the "what did you do?" and the "what did you say?"What the fuck was I thinking?
Cool About It - boygenius
Maybe the most perfect supergroup ever formed. I love each artist (Julien Baker, Phoebe Bridgers, Lucy Dacaus) in their solo work, but they also work together so beautifully.
Now this track - when I first heard it, I was immediately obsessed. It’s melancholic, it’s piercing, it’s a song I put on a playlist for a different friend, and she called me an hour later and said “I listened to this track and went okay, something’s definitely going through Nikki’s head.”
She was right. (She’s a great friend.) It captures the agony and humiliation of having a crush in adulthood. This song makes me immediately uncomfortable as it describes my exact, irritating thoughts and feelings.
I'm trying to be cool about it
Feelin' like an absolute fool about it
Feelin' like I'm breaking a sweat about it
Wishin' you would kindly get out of my head about it
But we don't have to talk about it
I can walk you home and practice method acting
I'll pretend bein' with you doesn't feel like drowning
People, please - can you just be kind enough to be cruel about it?
Also, the fact it abruptly ends - just like my thoughts because we can’t predict the future and how things will turn out? Devastating.
I Got 5 On It - Tethered Mix - Michael Abels, Luniz, Michael Marshall
Seeing as how Halloween just passed, and I do love the spooky-scary (See: growing up in a house that was filled with homemade terrors each October, working in a haunted house as a scare actor, being obsessed with things like Blackout, which I have done), I’ve included a track from my Halloween playlist. The original song was the 13th biggest single of 1995, and this remix has a greatly haunting quality. (And gave us this perfect score routine from Dancing With The Stars).
If you’ve made it this far, you’re a champ. Thanks for sticking with me and my ramblings. Got a song suggestion or a question? Hit me up at resonantdive@substack.com